Dragon Ball Z Ebonics

I put a transcript of the first episode of Dragon Ball Z Abridged into Gizoogle's Gangsta Textilizer. This is what I got:

KaiserNeko: Da followin be a gangbangin' fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, n' DragonBall GT is all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, n' Akira Toriyama. Please support tha straight-up legit release.

(Mornin Vibe/Peer Gynt suite No.1 plays)

Farmer: Oh god no mah da sticky-icky-icky patch! I mean, uh… mah carrot patch.. yeah!
Farmer: I mo' betta start bustin what tha fuck any sensible middle-american would do up in dis thang: git mah gun!
Computer: Wuz crackalackin' n' welcome ta Earth.. wit open bar
Farmer: Holy crap its Sonic tha hedgeho-Fuck dat shit, it’s a alien! Holy shiznit its a alien!
Raditz: Finally on dis dead plan-wait.. what tha fuck tha crap, biatch? Did Kakarot screw dis up, biatch? Oh goddamnit I knew we should’ve busted Turles
Farmer: (thinks) Better be thinkin of suttin' def ta say ta make his ass stop!
Farmer: Yo, you, nahmean biiiatch?
Farmer: (thinks) Genius farmer, smart-ass !
Raditz: Oh peep him, tha pimpin' muthafucka be thinkin he’s peoples. Whats yo' powerlevel lil human, biatch? Five, huh?
Farmer: Protect me, gun!
Raditz: Yo dawwwwg! No! Wack human!
Farmer: DamnitIvotedforBush!
Raditz: Wack hommie! Now git back up n' tell me you’re sorry dawwwwg! Human, biatch? H-u-u-uman, biatch? So dis is why daddy holla'd I couldn’t keep Appule…

Piccolo: Dope ol’ wasteland hommie! Yep! Sheezy is some kickass hustlin!... damnit I’m lonely. Might as well check Myspace. No freshly smoked up comments, no playa requests, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Damnit. Well at least I have you Tom. You’re always there fo' mah dirty ass.
Raditz: Yo dawwwwg! You! Is you Kakarot, biatch? Seriously, if yo ass is stay still! I need ta rap ta you bout cappin' n' pushin dis hood son! It’s straight-up blingin son! Oh, wait a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! You’re not Kakarot. My fuckin bad!
Piccolo: I’ve gots chronic skin, pointy ears n' a turban. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Oh yeah, I must be lookin like SO nuff other people!
Raditz: Oh a smartass huh, biatch? I don’t appreciate smartasses. Prepare yo ass fo' mah signature attack. DOUBLE SUN-

Vegeta3986: No!
Lanipator: Huh?
Vegeta3986: GIVE ME THE MIC!
Lanipator: What- no NO! Come on man!
Vegeta3986: GIVE ME THE MIC!
Lanipator: It’s a real attack!
Vegeta3986: NO IT ISN’T!
Lanipator: Fine biaaatch! Here, take dat shit. I’ll just go practice mah Vegeta.... ass!

Raditz: (different voice) Now prepare yo ass fo' mah signature attack! Keep yo' eye on tha bir- Oooh! A higher juice level!
Piccolo: Yo what tha fuck tha hell! Weren’t you goin ta bust a cap up in me son?
Raditz: Ah, there we go. Considerin tha average set by dis chronic muthafucka n' dat farmer, tha chancez of dis bein kakarrot are-Oh screw it, I’m goin ta check anyway!
Piccolo: Fine biaaatch! Go ahead hommie! Didn’t want yo' company anyway dawwwwg! ...right Tom?

(Cyndi Lauper’s "Girls just wanna have fun" skits from Bulma’s radio)

Bulma: Yo I’m here!
Krillin: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma!.... hey!
Bulma: oooookay.. so how’s it going?
Roshi: I’m drankin OJ! Now it’s applejuice biaaatch! Roshi: Now it’s brew playa! Yay brew!
Krillin: So where’s Yamcha?
Bulma: I be thinkin tha bastard’s ridin' dirty on me!
Krillin: Why do you say that?

(flashback)
Yamcha: Bulma! It’s not what tha fuck it looks li-oh aiiight it’s straight-up what tha fuck it looks like. Can I still live here, biatch? Please, biatch? Before I was livin up in tha desert fo' realz. And did you chizzle Puar’s litterbox yet?
Puar: I made boomboom!

Krillin: Oh is you trippin like a muthafucka, biatch? Yamcha, biatch? That is SO outta char- so you’re single then?
Goku: Yo muthafuckas!
Bulma: Goku!
Krillin: TAIL- I mean wait, what?
Goku: Hahaha!
Bulma: Uh, Goku I can’t help but notice dat five-year-old you’re carrying
Krillin: Goku just cuz we picked you up in tha middle of tha woodz when you was a kid don’t mean you can go round jackin lil' thugs..
Goku: Erm, aiiight.. dis is straight-up mah son
M. Night Shyamalan: What a twist!
Bulma: Oh wow! I guess dis means you finally.. you know
Goku: Know what?
Roshi: Yo ass know.. bow chicka wow wow
Goku: What is dem noises you’re making??
Krillin, Bulma, Roshi: (thinks) Oh mah Dogg he’s a parent!!
Krillin: So when’s tha lil muthafucka gonna start hustlin?
Goku: Actually, Chi-Chi is makin his ass study. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch wants his ass ta grow up n' be… what’s it called?
Krillin: A productizzle n' responsible gangmember of society?
Goku: Yeah lame, that’s dat shiznit son!
Goku: Yo son, come here biaaatch! Quit playin wit tha turtle. Us dudes don’t need playas sayin thangs…
Bulma: Yo is dat a thugged-out dragonbizzle on his head, biatch? Don’t dat sorta make his ass a target fo' villains whoz ass want them?
Goku: Oh come on, I beat Piccolo, I’m phat enough ta beat mah playas who-HOLY BLACK ON A POPO WHAT IS THAT?!
Roshi: What’s wrong?
Goku: I just felt a powerlevel bigger than… than… Krillin’s losin streak!
Krillin: … you know, you muthafuckas is tha reason I git all up in therapy..
Goku: (thinks) He’s.. gettin closer!
Krillin: Shouldn’t we grab Gohan n' put his ass insi-
Krillin: Oh lil hustla of a...
Raditz: it took me a while ta git here yo, but I finally found you… Kakarot
Goku: ...what?
Raditz: That’s right, that’s yo' name
Goku: ...what?
Raditz: tha name you was given before we busted you ta dis hood!
Goku: ...what?
Raditz: yo thugged-out ass.. hit yo' head as a cold-ass lil lil pimp didn’t yo slick ass?
Goku:..what?
Raditz: Oh fo' god’s sakes, listen! Yo ass was busted here as a cold-ass lil lil pimp ta take over tha hood. You’re part of a thugged-out dead race of intergalactic supa warriors called tha Saiyans fo' realz. And ta top off dis expositionizzle onslaught; I.. be yo' brother!
Krillin: So you’re his brutha huh, biatch? Shiznit muthafucka dat must mean you’ll be involved up in fuckin shitloadz of future events, right, biatch? Right?
*Krillin owned count: 1*
Krillin: What did I say?
Goku: Yo dawwwwg! Quit hittin Krillin!
Raditz: Why?
Goku: Because you’re breakin Kame House!
Krillin: Yea.. stop breakin Kame House..
Goku: So, what tha fuck is you here for, biatch? Da Dragonballs?
Raditz: The.. tha dragon’s what?
Goku: Da dragonballs you know, biatch? There is seven of them, grant any wish you want, like immortality?
Oolong: Or Bulma’s panties!

Nappa: Vegeta did you hear that?
Vegeta: Oh yeah, we’re straight-up goin ta Ghetto ta git our wish!
Nappa: Yeah we’re gonna git panties!... I mean immortality. Immortalitizzle is what tha fuck I meant, right Vegeta?
Vegeta:.. Just git up in tha damn pod..

Raditz: No.. I’m here fo' you, Kakarrot
Goku: So, what tha fuck is we gonna do, biatch? See a funky-ass ballgame, biatch? Catch a porno?
Raditz: We is goin ta bust a cap up in mah playas on tha hood n' then push it fo' profit ta a alien overlord whoz ass may or may not have destroyed our own hood
Goku: Oh! Well I sorta like playas here, so wit all due respect... Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Gohan: Daddy!
Raditz: I’ll be takin this muthafucka! YOINK!
Goku: Quick! Some Muthafucka stop him! *crickets* Damnit Krillin!
Krillin: Yo I was biiiatch-slapped all up in a house, what’s yo' excuse?!
Goku: I was kneed up in tha stomach!
Piccolo: Yo ass muthafuckas is pathetic!... what?
Goku: Aw jeez.. hey look, I know you straight-up wanna bust a cap up in me n' all yo, but todizzle is kind of a wack day. It make me wanna hollar playa! My fuckin brutha just flossed up, turns up I’m a alien, da perved-out muthafucka stole mah kid-
Piccolo: Oh yeah I was watchin that, dat was priceless muthafucka! Haahaa! Wahahaha! .....sorry fo' yo' loss.
Goku:Yeah.. anyway.. wanna help me git his ass back?
Piccolo: whyyyyy?
Goku: I’ll playa you on Myspace.
Piccolo: (thinks) Tom, you’ve been replaced!

Roshi: Now it’s a Nestle Crunch bar playa! Now it’s a gummibear playa! Now it’s Nappa!
Nappa: Wait, what tha fuck tha hell?