No More Running Away.

I've tried to be patient. I've tried to be understanding. I haven't yelled, I haven't screamed, and I think, so far, I've done a good job.
Until today.
Until ANOTHER of my friends told me he was leaving the forum.
It's the same excuses every. Fucking. Time.
"I don't feel like talking to 'insert name here'."
"I don't have time."
"I just don't feel like it."
And you know what? I think I've handled this -shit- pretty well so far. Until today, I had avoided yelling, avoided crying, avoided getting angry.
Until today.
But you know what? We have 34 users. Four admins.
Of these four admins, three post at all. Of these three, only two post often.
Of these 34 users, we have six people who post regularly. Six. I can name each of them.
Me.
Aqua.
Safire.
M'ij.
Shade.
Xalmyst.
Of these six, we have three who rarely post. Of those three, only ONE has a reason not to, and that's because his dad cuts off his internet a lot.
So what's a girl to do, when a third of her regular posters inform her that their planning on leaving?
I'll tell you what she does.
She cries.
I've spent nearly four years now, trying to make this a haven. A safe place. Neutral ground, where no one had to talk if they didn't want to. And all I demanded was that you posted in the roleplays you were in.
Everyone here was handpicked. Chosen because someone here trusted them. Usually, it was me doing the picking. And even when it wasn't, I soon grew to like the person, and accept them into this growing family.
Because that's what we are. A family. A messed up, insane, dysfunctional family, but a family.
And now, most of the members of this family? Are gone.
The ones who remain? Are leaving.
So let me make something VERY FUCKING CLEAR.
All that I demand is five minutes of your time, to past in the roleplays you are a part of. Five minutes. You don't have to talk to anyone, or do anything, outside of the roleplays.
This is -Neutral ground-. I don't CARE what arguments you have with anyone else, I'm not going to make you interact with them. Just post in your roleplays, and you're done. Five minutes. That's all it takes to post in EVERY ROLEPLAY.
And let me make something else clear: I don't give a damn about your religion, political affiliation, nationality, sexuality, or even gender! For all I care, you could be a baby-sacrificing satanist- okay, well, not the baby sacrifing bit, I like babies- it doesn't matter. And if someone gives you trouble about any of those, well, I damn well hope you'll come to -me-, because I'll deal with them!
Stop running away. Just stop. You're hurting more than just yourself when you run- you hurt all of us. Me especially.
P.S.: If you feel like you -need- to talk to me, outside the forum, I have skype. Send me a pm, I'll send you my details, and lemme know what's wrong. Y'all are family, I will ALWAYS try to fix it. Always.

I have a crazy schedule, and I still make time. I come home, and post after five hours of literally backbreaking work, and I post. So man up and do it. Damn. If I don't post, I expect all of you to bitch me out until I get off my lazy ass and do it. I don't like some people on this site, but I DEAL. And if I'm the problem, then let me know. Cause I will actually make an effort to fix it. Sorry to make a mini-rant on your already fun rant, but I got annoyed.

I am now officially a baby-sacrificing satanist... YAY!

I know the reason for this post, and whilst I respect other peoples' choices, I reserve the right to think that they are made for the wrong reasons.

I'm not going to apologize for that post. It was not directed at anyone in specific, but rather, at everyone in particular, because sometimes... Even I have my limits.

Limits? I HAVE NONE.

Despite giving my reasons to Shali months and months ago why I have stepped away from the forum, I give them here again in all public, and add a few things to it as well.
Please read this post in a neutral mood, as this is the mood I am writing it. If you feel offended or insulted, neither was it my intention nor is it my fault. It will be entirely the reader's error then. And yes, as Shali knows, I can call someone dumb for something they did without dragging with me a wagon of hate. Call it differences in culture and social habits.

It is actually kinda funny, as you rant about something inevitable, given the ephemeral and fragile nature this forum has. But before I delve into that, let me ask you a counter question;
Why does it matter? I am not going to talk about the state of admins, we had that talk long ago. So putting the number of admins vs. the registered people vs the people who post is inane. Yes, inane. This is not a typo, there is no S missing. What do you expect? For every single one to post? To RP? Look and remember the introductions. Some where just people completely new to the internet or a forum apparently, overwhelmed with information. Others were just "young" and had no grasp on what to actually do. Can't blame them.

Why Shali invited me here? Apparently because she wanted me to take part in the circle of friends she is enjoying to hang out with. That is very nice of her, but contrary to popular belief not everyone is able to be friends with anyone. This is only logical. Everyone's circle of friends is based from their own centre point. Other people draw their own circles, and so some are overlapping, but it is natural that not everyone is going - or wanting - to become friends with all the others.
I don't see my circle overlapping with anyone here much, if at all, to be truthful. That boils down to the aggravating pulses I'm observing, among other things. If you are going to be annoyed at this Shali, I can't even say I am sorry. Just look how this develops. I am serving for parts of your personality and facets of yourself that others here are not likely to work with in the same manner. Same goes the other way around. The people here are providing you with something I am not able or willing to give. Thus I am very content in just talking with you in Skype and prefer that to this forum, for a multitude of reasons;

1. I don't like forum RP in general. Not because I can't do it, but because I dislike the way it works. Not specifically here, but overall.
   
2. The Forum RP Quality here is low, by my standards. Even as I got here to read this topic, I made a few random checks on some active RPs, and then other topics too, only to see that more or less nothing has changed. People still write one or two lines most of the times, and sometimes even "at best". Feeling of nonRP topics hasn't quite changed much either. This kind of RP is better suited in a chat with severe character limitation but even in these environments I've seen people using arrow markers and stuff like that to announce "here comes more, I'm not done." The majority of the time it looks people are witless in what they post, do not care about details, at times don't even care about others, and give little to no respect to even their own characters. That is not roleplaying but more a fancy dress party.
   
3. I don't like the attitude of this forum.I get the feeling people here are inherently hostile, but that might boil down to their rude behaviour - which they believe to be funny - and short posts. In addition to that, everything reeks of disrespect. I just remember certain answers to introductions - not necessarily my own - who might have been funny in their eyes, but where nothing short of nonsensical, willy-nilly and disrespectful. As a side note to that; is it a wonder people don't feel the urgent need to stay in such an environment? Just saying. Even if it wasn't for RP, I don't feel quite welcome to just idle around and post in non-RP related topics.
   
4. I've been told, I can make it better. With all due respect, no. Neither is it my job nor was it my intention to improve anything or anyone when coming here. I could have tried to be an example but that idea was soon nipped in the bud, as I saw how incredibly bullheaded people were around here. But thats okay, apparently that was the general consent of everyone that "this forum runs this way". No problems here, but that party can keep going on without me.
   
5. There is no progression and no improvement. The RPs remain dull, nonsensical, plotless and clueless chains of events. The characters remain to be twodimensional and colourless entities. People just do, people just play, without a sense of consequence and without a feeling for plausibility. There is virtually no talk about character or plot development, and any constructive discussions need to be sought after very hard. They just put on guises of "I think thats cool so I do it".
   
6. I simply don't like how the forum looks and is organized. I was surprised to see the eyegauging banner being replaced by something nice and smooth. The rest of the forum skin still remains to be a mess of arguable colour and style choices. The layout itself and the setup of the categories and subforums is also something I'm not fond of and navigating through the... "organization" is tedious. Plus its a completely public forum. There are so many things that can be seen by unregistered visitors, its not even funny anymore. I just don't feel comfortable here, bare and square. Oh yes, before someone asks, I HAVE given loads of my ideas how to improve the entire everything. They have been graciously denied. And that is okay, apparently they were not fitting. They were just suggestions in the first place.
   
7. I clearly have better and more constructive things to do. Yes, go think of it as an insult, if that makes you feel better be my guest, couldn't care less. I don't know what to do here that I couldn't do better and more enjoyable somewhere else. I have you in my skype list Shali, and we talk. Why that apparently does not suffice for you, is beyond me. I know your intention was that I should meet your friends and bring some fresh air. I was flattened with the feel of being unwelcome. Why should I possibly remain in such an environment then?

This is your outcry of "I don't like where this is going" and it is fine. You have to ask yourself what you want and what you expect from others. And then you have to evaluate what that actually means for you. Let me bring a counter example;
Remember the forum I set up during Champions times? Do you know why it stopped being frequented and used? Because I was more or less the only one that pushed it forward. I was - unwillingly - the emotional core and drive of the entire thing and as we transported into Guild Wars 2, everything looked wonderful, until ArenaNet decided that guesting is going to screw me over. And that was it. The people didn't bond between each other, because they didn't want to, because they missed a link, and the link was me. You remember, I told everyone that I am going to keep the platform and provide each and every possibility that people can fathom so they can do their stuff.
Did anyone do something? No. They were just passively lingering around. But that is okay, it was their choice to do so. Who am I to object? I always said that I am giving them the tools for their roleplaying enjoyment and to have a common place to always resort to when it comes to contacting people. It was their choice to use it or let it be. They decided for the latter. And? So what? I have the people who want ed to personally keep up the contact in my skype. If the rest isn't able to get up their butt, I couldn't care less about them, because I indubitably was making effort that they apparently were not willing to meet.

Don't get me wrong, I am sorry that I was denied RP in GW2. And if it wasn't then the forum would be still sprawling with posts and our activities would be toppling over. Because as mentioned, I was the core of the thing.

But Shali, I hold no grudge over this. This is the difference. You are holding a grudge about something that shouldn't matter. So only 6 people post? What is bad about that? At least people ARE posting. You should sit down on your rear and make a list what you want from people, and then more importantly WHY you want that. Perhaps then it would also make more sense to you. For your OWN sake.

And the only reason I am posting all this here, instead of skype, is 1) you asked me to write something and 2) Perhaps someone other get something out of this as well. My hopes aren't high about that, considering the disrespect, indifference and stubbornness that has already been posted in here in those few remarks.

I think that's a wrap.

Hmm... Not sure where you got the feeling of hostility, honestly. Except shade but that's not mean hostility, its just being prickly like a cactus.

I hate people. It's my nature. As for the other stuff, I fully admit my characters and the way I post suck for the most part. Mostly because I forget what my character's motivations are, and I can't be bothered to look because ninety percent of my characters were made so my friends' rps do not die. Let's face it, most of the time, I am the one keeping obnoxious things afloat. I try to do my best to give things new life, but most of the time, it just feels like filler, with nothing really going on. And that's on me. Frankly, if people actually told me to shape up, I would probably try to stop phoning my posts in. Because this really isn't just an admin problem. No offense, but pretty much everyone on this site SUCKS at this. I feel like a lot of them are like me: I was never shown what to do, I was just kind of thrown into RPing, and I went along with it because I really wanted to be friends with the people running them. I never grew up learning how to do any of this, so I take it as a conversation, which it isn't. So I accept quite a lot of responsibility for why you are leaving.

I got drawn into Rp about seven years ago. I kinda had someone around to show me the basics, but she went poof, and after a while, I just ended up having to figure it all out myself.
And my post length? ...Trust me, it's sooo not just RP. The number of times teachers have made me rewrite my work because it's too short... *Grumble grumph* Thing is, I like to get stuff out fast, so the next person can post sooner. It's a habit I got from my early days,on Gaia Online- if you didn't post fast enough, RPs had a habit of tapering off and dying. So I taught myself to be short and concise, and to get posts out quick. I've been trying to break that habit, but, well.. Kinda difficult. Still. I'm going to try to hold myself to a new rule- at least a hundred words a post. Preferably at least 150. It'll take longer, but... Well.

Also, I will say this once, because any more times will end in death, for someone somewhere.

Quantity.
Is.
Not.
Quality.

I can make a better post in two sentences than most can in three paragraphs. I can write a damn good story in 4000 words that can top some novels. I can do more with a short line than a goddamn 10 page report.
Plain and simple, a long post does not mean a great post. A short post does not mean a bad post.

Heheh, yes, but it's fun! Besides. Quantity -does- mean we have to add more details, to -get- quality.

Aqua is definitely correct there, and as for my RP experiance. I've in playing D&D, Alternity, Exalted, Rifts, BeSM, Serenity, even a few more other RPs with different groups of people including several who used to play with old Gary Gygax himself, and almost never does a single action in those RP's with people exceed what two sentences can handle. As for the negativity, it is actually VERY rare, at least as far as I have noticed, and I have the other admins my thoughts when they come up, as for privacy, can anybody who's not an admin look up what I just said to confirm or deny?

Honestly there is a lack of activity, and as the oldest member of the forum it came down to a problem with the lack of maturity for a while, then work, now the forum is slow paced.

As for complaints about how the forum looks, if anybody wants to complain about it, I accept PM's 24 hrs a day 365 days a year. I will address ANY issue no matter how big or small sent my way, and bring it up with the other admins (If needed, I'm not the very top, but I can handle most things) or resolve it myself.

As for the rest of the topic, Shali calm down. People come, people go Honestly I don't really remember this guy and I was originally the what? 5th member. If you really want more people, you need to have something that draws them in. That sets this site apart from the millions of other roleplay site.

Now I will admit I do see a lack of character depth, and have been guilty of it myself at times. Many of the RP's Ive been in have had lack of dynamics, and most importantly lack of conflict. (For example, Dragon Rule, nobody has even been maimed by this dragon, remember the DM CAN godmod)

Negativity- I admit, sometimes, I- or Shade and M'ij- can -seem- hostile, but it's all friendly teasing, for the most part. When it's not- as Saf said, he tends to let me, or Aqua, know, if he doesn't deal with it himself.

Lack of maturity- maturity? What maturity? Okay, so, being serious-ish now, I like to think that the atmosphere of the forum has matured quite a lot from what it was first starting out. ...And the skill level of our RP. When I read the original WTW, I'm stuck between cringing and laughing my ass off... The PANCAKES... Tank patches.

Slow paced- ...Yeah, okay, that one's pretty much all on me, in the roleplays. Not counting the ones run by other people.

The looks- The things I made originally, I'm working to replace with animated shit. Like the banner- I'm still in love with how that turned out, by the way. I've been wanting to replace the bottom banner for a while, but... Yeah. I -like- my kidneys -in- my body, thanks!

-As- an admin, I know there's a -few- places the general public can't see. Not as an admin... I'd have to log out to check. And how often do I log out, exactly? ...Yeah.

Calming down- Already done. 620 word post. Combined with six hours of sleep, and a whoooole LOT off caffeine equals a -very- giggly Shali. It is, quite literally, physically impossible for me to be irritable right now. ...Don't test that.

Bah! I'll maim them with the NEXT dragon. Maybe I'll let it throw a mammoth at them... Right. I'm too sleepy and hyper to be irritated, so.

HISSS! BOTTOM BANNER STAAAYS!
*clears throat.*

Excuse me, I seem to have raged.

Well, I'm not currently part of any RPs, and not many constructive discussions happen in the other sections. Now, if this changes, I might post regularly.

That's because there's not really anything to talk about...

I mean look at the news, it's just the same political agenda trying to over-hype the population so they can get whatever they want done. By repeating the same things over and over again. (I could create a thread about that, but politics tend to bring out the worst in people)

Still no flying cars (one company is close though), still no hoverboards, still nothing really changing.

I don't like politics... It's all STUPID.

Hoverboards are easy.

Than make them and get rich Shade, almost everybody would buy one.

But then they would have no appeal.

Whole principal of: "We want what we can't have." And then, once we get it, it's just kinda like, huh, this is boring.

I can only imagine the headlines when Hoverboards are invented. Breaking News! Hoverboard trick causes the end of thousands of lives! or Youtube 'Awesome hoverboard trick!' Skateboards don't have s*** on this! I'm sorry, I'm tired and getting ideas.

what do you mean, me and a friend of mine already have the plan that once we're 90 and hoverboards finally do exist. We'll be old people yelling old people crap pushing ourselves around with our canes on a hoverboard and particularly telling people to get off our lawns no matter where we are.

And then I'll smugly assist you to the nearest mental ward.