Possible Vacation

Well then, I feel sad that you have not
-fuck logic.
I take that back, I honestly don't feel sad, I feel pissed. I cannot stand people who generalize based upon gender, race, intellect, political belief, or any fucking goddamn thing. Hell... Personally, I would like to skin, disembowel, light afire, and then finally refuse to actually kill any sexist/racist instead leaving them to suffer. Why? Because generalizations and stereotypes suck. They are one of the primary sources of ignorance and hatred in this world, and each person who spreads or even believes them is either evil, or just plain not worth the air they breath. A waste of fucking space.
Yes, woman are better at hiding when they hate you, often. However, not each woman is the same.
Men can be loyal and fucking awesome friends. Or they can be scumbags whom I would gladly spend the rest of my hopefully very long lifespan torturing in cruel and innovative ways.
Woman can be the only people willing to be nice to you when all the boys would rather kick you in the face for looking funny.
Men can be the only ones who will be obvious about what the want.
Woman can talk to you without pretense. Men can too.
Fucking hell, man. F. u. c. k. i. n. g. h. e. l. l.
You wanna know the reason I didn't go crazy in school, surrounded by idiots, mocked by morons, failing because I fucking couldn't write well enough because my hands don't even listen to me?
A friend who didn't leave me. A friend who would stand in the way of the kids. When I got hurt, that friend was still there. When the bitchiest bitch of the area decided to go to work and try to get me pretty much excluded from everything, that friend was still there. Yeah, she was awesome. I wish I knew anyone willing to stand like that today.
Fucking hell. Just fucking hell... I'm going to have to stab my wall again... Well, that's just one more hole among many I guess.
I don't like people. I hate people in general. But I hate them equally. So yes, from the very bottom of my now fucking frozen heart and out of my absolutely pissed mouth, fuck your sexism. Fucking with a goddamned demon gorilla. And a chainsaw.
That. That there is a rant. Read it or fuck you.

Oh, I read it. Who the hell are YOU to talk about generalizations? Bloody hypocrite. At least I ACCEPT my sexist ways. You pile everyone into the same damn set of being idiots, and talk about killing them. I'm sorry if my horrific dealings with women have made me sexist, but at least I don't go around saying kill all of them. I just don't trust them fully. Stupid? Maybe, but it is bred of my experiences. Yeah, men can be assholes, but as a whole, they're a lot more loyal than some vindictive, untrustworthy whore. Maybe it's because I have never been able to talk about any of the shit that causes me to say this, but seriously, women are good for breeding to me. Not much else.

I don't generalize against some portion of the population. Until proven otherwise, each and every individual human is an idiot in my eyes. I don't judge them differently because of some physical difference. Everyone starts at zero. Zero may be idiot, but everyone gets to start at idiot.
Almost every other male I dealt with back where we lived was a dick. A jerk. A bastard. Some of them would rather kick a puppy than help it up. Why? Because it made them feel powerful. Men tend to like to feel all powerful.

You would say, then, that I am more loyal than my sister? Fuck that shit. I'm much less loyal then she has ever been. On all accounts, my sister is better, smarter, and faster that I am. She has different problems, but when it isn't math, she is a better person than I.

I am amazed at you. Assuming all woman are bad because the ones you encountered have been bad. You find my sister untrustworthy? Then I cannot, will not, be able to call you friend again. Despite the fact that you know one of my darkest secrets, you believe something as... hurtful and pointless as sexism.

Yes, I talk about killing people. I do it often, and sometimes I even mean it. I'm not a nice person usually. I try not to pretend to be one most of the time.

I... Hell. I don't even know. I am so angry at the moment that the only thing keeping me from smashing every single thing in my room is forcing my self to be reasonable. I ... Fuck. Just... Fuck.

What the hell is the difference? You think every person is an idiot until proven otherwise, I think no woman is worthy of my full trust until proven otherwise. It's just that every time I think they are, boom, they turn out not to be. I may distrust woman, but I would never kill anyone.

Perhaps you don't get what you just said not to me, but to my sister. Think about it. My sister considered- actually, because she forgives poeple evenutaly, she may even still consider you a friend. I can, given time, deal with people who have beliefs I cannot stand. However, I cannot deal with people who make. My. Sister. Cry. You hurt my sisters feelings. Thus, I am irrationally pissed off. When you said you don't trust women, maybe you forgot my my _sister_ is a _woman,_ and she thought she was your friend. I am her _brother._ It is my job to punish dicks who make my sister cry. I dunno how many families have our kind of protectiveness. My father's family sure doesn't. Maybe your family wasn't like ours. I dunno. It doesn't matter. My sister's feelings are hurt, so heads should be rolling until the source is gone.

Well, I'll be gone tomorrow, so you won't have to worry. I honestly didn't mean to upset her, but I'm not about to lie about my beliefs. I had a very loving family, but I had no privacy from either my sister or my mother. The stories get a whole lot worse. But you'll at least have your wish, because in the morning, I start my vacation. Right now, I could care less whether you or your sister forgive me. I guess neither of you were paying attention when I said the reason I was leaving was to prevent myself from doing crap like this. I've been having a ton of mood swings lately, and it's making me a little irrational. I actually do care about you guys, and if you hadn't triggered my asshole nature by ranting earlier, I'd probably apologize. But nah, fuck that. See, I was half joking about the women thing earlier, and while I DO personally have a hard time trusting women, it's certainly not to the degree your rant pushed it to. If you people seriously want me back, let me know. Until then, I'm out.

Some things shouldn't be joked about. Somethings simply shouldn't. Some people can't take them. Sometimes it's a bad thing to say. Some jokes simply aren't funny. Some things are at very bad times. Very. Very. Very. Bad timing. God, I'm not even sure if I'm sorry. This was the worst time for that kind of joke, you have no Idea.

And I really don't care. I warned you that the level of asshole I can put out is extreme. Let me warn you: You haven't seen anything near my best.

There is nothing I can say. But if I say nothing, nothing is changed. Isn't that sort a funny? Heh... Yeah. This is a bad time. Gawds this is a bad time. Just... hell........... Nothing. I've got nothing. No funny, no serious, just nuthing. Good night.

....I never thought I would see this. Not from one of my friends. And not from my brother.
I agree- most of my gender does, in fact, tend to be full of sluts, bitches, and whatever you want to call them. But we're not all the same. When someone gives me their trust... *Head shake, disgusted sigh.* I would have thought you knew me better then that. I really did. Do you know why I allowed Leviathen to manipulate me so long? Why he got a chance to leave the lasting mental scars he has? No? I'll tell you- Because I made him a promise, and he fucking gave me his goddamned trust. I kept that trust. Even when I was hurting because of his actions.
As you can imagine, talking about him isn't a topic I'm fond of. At all. But... Honestly? I won't let that same trustworthyness be tossed out a window. I won't. Fact is, I would rather go through what I did with Leviathen then break someone's trust again. Do you understand that? I hope you do.
I never thought I would see the day where someone I consider a close friend- not just a friend, but a close friend- was writing me off as untrustworthy based on my gender alone. I -never- thought I would see the day that happened.
For the record? I have the right to be sexist. I truly do. And you will notice- Nearly everyone on this site is male. And every. Single. One. Of. You, is here because I am willing to give you my trust. Please. Don't prove to me that I can't.
I never, ever, thought I would have to say this. Not here, and not to you. Fuck this. I'm going to bed.
For the record? I suggest y'all read this. And then leave me. The hell. Alone. THIS.

The sad thing is, I've spared you both the worst from a long time. There's a reason I'm anti-social, and it's not because I can't make friends. It's because there are nights for me like these past several have been. For whatever reason, I get the uncontrollable urge to be an ass. Maybe it's because I do not allow myself to share my emotions, even with myself. I bottle it all up, and I don't let it come out. I take on as many people's problems that I can, so I don't have to face my own. Shali, you're a fool if you think I don't trust or care about you. It may never seem like that to you, and I get that. The reason I can't trust ANYONE, not just women, who are frankly easier for me to blame it on due to past experience, but the reason I can't trust anyone completely is because I have never trusted myself. As a kid, I had to hold myself apart. I've always been big and strong, but that's not the reason I stayed apart. The reason was my blinding anger. I've never been able to control it, and so I prevented myself from trusting myself, or the very people who could probably make it better. I don't care if you read this and think I'm lying, or trying to make myself better than I am. The fact is, I'm a monster, and lately, I've started to accept that. It's my fault I can't form relationships with people, and it's about time I started trying. I'm not asking for anyone's forgiveness, cause I neither need it or deserve it. I just wanted to show you that I trusted you enough to tell you some of my history, and some of my problems. I'm NOT a good person, and I'm NOT the kind of person you want as a close friend, because in the end, I just turn ugly. When I was a kid, I invented a name for my anger. It was a simple, kid's name for it, but I named it Violent. It was the best name I could find, and it encompassed my emotions. The only person who knew about it, truly knew about it, was a great friend of mine. But when I told him I could feel Violent coming, even he shrank back in terror. I guess all I'm trying to accomplish here is explain that I'm not normal. I'll never be normal, not by anyone's standards. I'm a dark, and violent person, and I've taken it out on you both, as well as the others here. That was the whole point of the vacation. A chance to try and fix myself. But Isee now that that's impossible. So I'll do as you want, Shali, and probably what you want as well, Necris: I'm going to leave you both alone. You don't have to deal with me or my ugliness anymore.

Whoa, whoa whoa.
This is worst flamewar I've ever stepped into. First off, everybody has their problems. what defines you is how you solve them, I've had most of those problems myself. That's life, it sucks.

This thread is locked, and what to do about this will be decided by the council of Admins.