Shadow's writing

I write songs sometimes, not good ones, granted, but ok ones. After writing one of them just now, I decided that I would like to share them.

This song is dedicated to All of you guys.

Thank You

You've been there for me,
And I don't think you know,
How much you've helped me out.

When I met you,
I was afraid to be myself,
But you extended a hand,
Showed me the good things about myself.

You showed me that in the world,
There where people who were kind,
People who cared,
And I just want to thank you,
For helping me out during the hardest time of my life.

You where there,
When I had lost all hope,
When I was constantly being alone.

You taught me,
Not to hide from myself,
Showed me I am who I am.

And a few months back,
Had anyone told me I'd end up here,
I'd have just gone and cried,
Thinking it wasn't possible.

But then you were there,
All of you,
And I can't tell you what it means to me,
Because there aren't words to describe it.

You showed me,
That someone was there,
That someone would care,
And I can't thank you enough.

I've never had friends like you guys before,
And I'm glad that I've met you.
Because if I hadn't,
I'd still be like I was,
A few months before.

This song is dedicated to Hannah Mays, who helped me out when I was young and depressed. Thanks, Hannah.

Just Take My Hand.

Just take my hand,
And come with me.
Follow me,
To a place,
That we have,
Together.
Filled with the things we've told each other.
A place of secrets,
A place of friendship,
Just take my hand,
And we'll go there.
You helped me,
Stood by my side,
When I was sure all my hope was lost.
You were my friend,
When I needed one.
You were the hand,
That held me to earth.
You were the truth,
That kept my head clear,
And you were the glue,
That held me together.
Hannah,
With all my heart,
With my entire soul,
We're meant to be friends,
But someday I know,
We'll end up as something more.
I don't know what flies between us,
But as I look out towards the east,
As I look out towards you,
I know we'll be together again.
So take my hand,
Come away with me,
To the place made of dreams,
That we've shared together.
The place that started as a game,
That I would play alone.
Till one day you saw me sitting on the swing,
Sitting alone.
You cast aside all the warnings you knew.
You joined in my game with me.
Then piece by piece,
Bit by bit,
We made made it oh so much more.
So just take my hand,
Follow me to a land,
That we made together.
So just take my hand,
And come with me into,
Our safe heaven,
Our home.
The place where we can do,
Anything we want to.
The place where we rule,
The place where we place,
A world all our own,
Where no one can reach us,
Where no one can breach us,
Through the wall we made.
Nothing can tare us apart,
Our bond is to strong for that.
It may not be love,
But it is pretty close.
So,
Just take my hand.

This song has no dedication.

The real me

Memories,
Running fast and hard,
Speeding through my mind.
I try to hold on,
Try to grab them as they speed by,
It hurts,
Because I'm watching my life speed past.
Watching the days go by,
And not getting a chance,
To change what is happening.
I watch my friends come and go.
Day in and day out,
And I realize at long last,
that I can change it,
That I have control,
Over my own life,
And no one else does.
I make my own choices,
I live with the consequences.
Then one day,
I realize that I can cry.
I've been holding,
Up until now,
Never letting a tear fall.
Letting everyone think.
That I am strong,
But I'm living a lie.
The truth is,
I've never been strong.
I've just been hiding my feelings,
The ones that lay inside.
On the outside it looks like what people say never reaches me.
But inside it digs deep,
And I hide my feelings,
Hiding behind books.
On the outside I look like I'm happy,
Like I haven't a care in the world,
But if you could see inside me,
You'd see how much I hurt.
You'd see all the sadness, the anger, the joy,
That I've never let myself have.
I want to cry at times,
I want to lose the pain,
But I've kept it bottled up,
Till it's ready to spill over,
And I'm afraid of what'll happen if it does.
I've kept it inside,
I've refused to cry,
Until my hearts overflowed.
And I finally cry.

This song is one I wrote today, after taking a good look at myself. I realized that what I needed was to cry, but I've been afraid to cry. I've acted strong, and hid how I really felt, keeping it bottled up in me, and I know it's going to spill out soon.

I mostly write deep songs. It's my hobby.

Good stuff.
Although, Safire's right, needs a chorus to make it a song, because at the moment its more of a poem.
Kind of...

Hush, you. I did say they sucked, didn't I? I don't write music well. I'll only ever write lyrics.

I never said it sucked, Love.

Just it needs to be in more of a "song" format.

Don't "Love" me, yo aren't my boyfriend. And I said they sucked.

I know Im not your Boyfriend. My Nan calls me "Love" but Im not her boyfriend. Thankfully.

And dont be so hard on yourself, I liked it, so theres no reason for you not to like it.

I woke up less then a hour ago. I'm not thinking logically. I also stayed up until 1:00.

My love

He holds my heart
In his hands,
But thinks he doesn't deserve it.

He tries to get
Me to see
That he's not worth it.

Doesn't he get
This fact?
I love him,
And I always have.

He stole my heart,
Which I had guarded so carefully.

But now he tears,
It apart,
Unthinkingly.

Doesn't he get,
That it hurts me,
When he thinks that I shouldn't love him?

When he acts unworthy,
When thinks I hate him,
Doesn't he see,
That I love him?

I gave him my whole heart,
But he tries to turn away.

Doesn't he get,
That I mean it,
When I say,
"I love you"?

Why won't he understand?
The he has my heart,
My soul,
My body,
At his command?

Trevor,
Mi Amor,
I love you,
And I always will.

Levi, get a grip and stop acting as if I'm going to dump you at a moments notice!

Now, now. I can't go around dropping cinder blocks on foolish males, can I? I'd run out of cinder blocks.

I know, but if the woman hear me coming, AND they know how my brain works... I'd die trying to catch just ONE off guard. Wasn't intending it to be sexist.

Them being drunk implies alcohol. THEN I need daggers.

Cause he's Nickolas. he's crazy as I am, but nowhere near as funny! He didn't even know who Terry Pratchett was until I told him.

Hrm... Double daggers you say? Nah, I can't kill people who annoy me either.....

Damn it....

They don't care, why should she?
Why should she help those, who seem to wish she would die?
Why shouldn't she use their words against them,
When those same words are like knives turned on her?
Why shouldn't she hurt them?
Like they want to hurt her?

Dammit, she's never done anything,
To warrant that kind of hate.
So why should she help people,
When they don't give a damn?

Why should she do what they ask of her,
When they just order her around?
Why should she care what they want of her,
When they only look on her with a frown?

She knows she's supposed to act charitable,
Towards those who aren't so wise,
but dammit it's just not fair,
When she has to help those who look at her with such hateful eyes.

They call her demon,
They call her witch,
If only they knew the truth.
Then, and only then,
would she call them bitch.

She's supposed to help the humans,
But it's so very hard.
She gets told all sort of hateful things,
Gets told that she's worthless.
She just wants to get home,
She no longer wants to have to be alone.

She's an angel fallen from grace,
Hated by the entire human race.
Sometimes she wishes she really could die,
So that no one could she her when she breaks down and cries.

No one cares for a fallen angel,
Not even the ones who should.
She tries her hardest,
They don't act like they could.

She tries her hardest,
But sometimes by trying,
Instead of succeeding,
She ends up crying.

One of these days, when I get my scanner working, I'll get a picture I draw of the character in this up here. And no, she does NOT look like an angel.

That was one of my better ones. I got bored.

This one isn't a song.

"I'm Sorry."

   The girl slowly got into her car, ignoring the people running after her. She revved it and, and pulled out of the driveway, deaf to their calls. She didn't even look at them- He was there. She didn't hear them, so deafened by what he had told her.
    She drove. She wasn't sure how long she drove, she just drove. She drove, until she hit the intersection. Her intersection. It figured that she would visit it tonight- it had witnessed so many of her deeds, why not witness her last one? She got out of her car, leaving it open it in the middle of the busy intersection. It didn't matter if someone took her things- in a few seconds, she wouldn't need them any way. She calmly walked into the traffic, never hearing the people getting out of their cars after her. She didn't feel the collision as the car slammed into her side, or notice as one of her friends ran to her as she lay there bleeding, dying. She didn't notice, because she was looking right at him. His worried face was the last thing she saw, his comforting arms the last ones she felt.As the world dimmed around her, his face dimmed like all the rest, until he was no longer even a memory. His words were the last words she ever heard- "I'm sorry."

Three more like before, and after the last one, I'll tell you why I'm writing these. Warning, they involve suicide.

"Wait for me."

He sat anxiously by the phone, waiting for a call. Be the call news that they found her, that she was dead, or be it ransom demands, he didn't care. He needed the call. He had to save her. She was his sister, his twin, his other half. She shouldn't have been dragged into this. He had to help her.
The phone rang. Not even halfway through the first ring, he picked the phone up and pressed it to his ear. His hopeful, anxious face turned to shock at what he heard- She was dead. Gone. Forever, gone.
He dropped the phone, turning and swiftly leaving the house. He left the door open. It wasn't like he need what was in there anymore.
He walked. Not for long, he didn't want to keep her waiting for long, but to reach where he was headed he had to walk.
It wasn't long before he reached it. Their forest, their creek, their bridge. But, most importantly, their creek. It was running swiftly under the fallen log that served as a bridge- perfect.
He climbed on the bridge, and moved to the middle of it. He stood straight, calm, and still. He looked nothing like one who was about to end his own life. Not with the mischievous smile that played across his lips.
He stepped off the bridge, and as the water closed over his head and filled his lungs, he whispered three, final, words- "Wait for me."

"I'm on my way."

Everyone else went around happily, no one noticing the woman sitting alone. No one noticed how tears streamed down her silent face, and no one noticed the note clutched in her shaking hands.
She read it again and again, hoping for a hint that it was a joke, that it wasn't true. But, a grim look settled on her face as she came to the realization that it wasn't. He was dead. A car accident. He'd left her a widow at twenty.
'Killed in a car accident.' the note claimed. A accident. Fine, she'd go with that. A car accident wasn't hard to replicate. Nor would be insuring that she died. She just wouldn't wear the seat belt.
No one noticed as she walked out the door of her own anniversary party, and no one noticed as she climbed into her car and drove.
She drove until she hit a road where she would definitely die. One lane, one way, and that way was the other way. Perfect. She just drove straight, and hardly felt it as the other car slammed into hers. As the world grew dim around her, she whispered, "I'm on my way."

"It's your fault!"

He was through. He couldn't take it anymore- and furthermore, why should he? Jarmin had already killed himself, so why not follow in the footsteps of his love? Why stay in a world that hated him? These people had already caused the death of his Jarmin, what was one more death?
He walked to that house, the one where the party was, and looked first at the newly fallen snow, then at the snow that was still falling. Fingering the blade in his pocket, he walked out into the middle of the yard and waited.
Only when the snow had covered his tracks, and at least half of the people in the party were watching out the window did he pull out his razor blade. With a smooth motion, he slit through the soft skin of first one wrist, then the other. The people inside looked on with horror as he laughed and called out, "It's your fault!"



The reason I'm writing these is because one of my classmates commented on how incessantly cheerful I am at school, and told me that they thought I couldn't write even one story about a depressing topic. Well, I've never turned down a challenge, and I didn't turn down that one, so I'm probably going to write a lot more of these. Enough to fill up a entire composition notebook, in fact.

Jeez. My sister is depressingly good at this.

Thank you!

I need a rum...